This morning I got up after a fun breastfeeding wake-up mamo session, then made oatmeal, which Ava proceeded to eat by herself with a spoon from her bowl while learning to say the number 5. That brief moment of hearing her pronounce fffaaaaif and catching a glimpse of her properly hold her spoon while very properly sitting amidst my usual zig-zagging frenzy made my morning. She is today 22 months and 2 days.
It was a grey morning, and it is now a grey day, but luckily we had the morning planned so there was the impetus to get out which I have realized is crucial for a smooth day. I managed to shower, do my hair and make-up and dress with thought. If you know me, you will realize what a wonderful Everest of an improvement that is.
Ava refused to get dressed before putting on her shoes, so after some ignoring that fact, I did manage to get her in presentable clothes... She looked adorable nevertheless in last year's red jacket top and jean overalls. The puffy winter coat was the last fight before jumping in the car where her baby-doll was dutifully waiting for her to distract her from the fact that she is being strapped into the car-seat. A fact she dislikes, but manages to ignore for me. A sigh of relief.
We drove to the McGoldrick library and parked and walked in. Toys and puzzles and floor mats were all set up for the free 5-week TLC program we are attending. I like the puzzles because they are from 1984 and they are totally crude and look hand-drawn. Also, I believe they are from some kind of chipboard and not plastic.
Today's topic was "nutrition". How awesome! Even more awesome was the fact that this friendly mama I met last time came and brought her 3 boys. I jumped on the chance to speak to the children's nutrition specialist, ask her questions and pick her brain. I learnt that toddler's stomach's are tiny. That kids can well self-regulate at this age. That yes, if you leave them to eat by themselves they will eat as much as they need. No need to fall into the i must stuff my kid frenzy, in which even the nutritionist admitted she occasionally falls into. That yes, offer new foods, offer different vegetables, but don't expect them to eat it right away, they probably won't. Continue offering though. Without much fanfare, but with the air of this is your food my dear and this is what we eat. Rolemodeling is the biggest thing, she said. They will watch you and if you are eating fried chicken and offering them grilled, they will not fail to notice that fact and sooner or later get it, and perhaps develop a habit for it too.
Which is not the worst thing in the world, but it is not the best thing either. It all depends how it falls into the bigger picture and the balance of one's specific life. Meaning, fried chicken once in a while is not bad if you have some nice fresh or cooked veggies at dinner. And same goes for chocolate and other type of food for the... satisfaction of the cravings.
But there is something else too, there is the whole effort to train the will to be able to help one avoid foods that are not necessary, to be able to help one go through lent and to maintain optimum health. We did not talk about this because when it comes to toddlers, there is one truth that became apparent today, a truth that made me grateful for the effort to attend the seminar and grateful that i am in the presence of a wonderful toddler being- they know how to eat better than adults, because they will not stuff themselves willingly and with a little gentle reminding and no more cookies in the house, they will eat the healthy food in front of them. For me to achieve that, I would have to reprogram my brain. But for that another time.
Morning turned into lunchtime, and talking about food got us all hungry. Ironically, the friendly mother I mentioned asked me if I want to go to McDonald's. My pitch for Korean Bi Bim Bap did not go far. I had to quickly weigh my perceived grossness of McDonald's against the awesomeness of the fact that a mother of 3 asked me on a quick lunch date. I said (drumroll) yes. I had to quickly override my absolutely no McDonald's rule with my absolutely make new cool mama friends rule. Because let's face it, what restaurant or coffee shop will be happy to accommodate with no hassle 4 small children ranging from 7mos to 5 years old? Not many, or maybe not any. So anyway, Ava did not really like the chicken nuggets, jumped on the fries, finished her milk and generally was really just on best behavior. The boy toddler squirted some water on my face while his mama picked up a work phone call (yes, she works and makes $! i am in awe) and the rest of the time one could have barely noticed that there were 4 kids at the table. Except maybe for one older Korean lady who gave us a good long gaze, waiting to see if we let the tow toddlers climb on the table. We did not.
This particular McDonald's is nicer than most, full of Koreans and Chinese, stupidly expensive, but pretty clean and well, fast. Cheap for what you get- mmmm, no, no way. But none of that mattered, what did is that I got to hang out with a new mother, someone that automatically gets a ton of points for having the guts to come out with her 3 kids, one of them a little baby, one a cranky toddler and one yes, a helpful student. I saw us laughing, sharing, scolding and most importantly, connecting. On our way home, as we each got into our separate cars and we each headed for our direction, we happened to pass each as I turned away from Northern Blvd. and she was turning onto it. And in that moment, as I chuckled and waved bye, I wasn't just a confused young mama trying to navigate a whole new neighborhood and a whole new world, I was just a local who recognized a familiar face, a friend, a familiar face willing to recognize and be recognized for the simple human that they are- a mother, a woman, a face, smiling behind the windshield.
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